Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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