A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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