I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
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