I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Randomize
