Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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