whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
