i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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