Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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