sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
That accounts for only three of the penises
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
