I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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