i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
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There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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