I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
