I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
My vagina is officially offended.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
