doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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