Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Randomize
