OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
