Pappa wants mamma naked
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
dude. I can hear the air.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
