One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Randomize
