on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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