I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
