also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize