At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
