walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
