Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
