no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
sex in a hospital.. check
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
