That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
