It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Randomize
