We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize