also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
