Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
