angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
