I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
