Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I can't trust your balls anymore.
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