You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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