Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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