i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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