you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
