When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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