Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
