Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
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I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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