how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize