you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
