He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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