I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
