I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
