So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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