You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
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