Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Randomize
