You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
