Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
