you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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