omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
