Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
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