It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Randomize