How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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