RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
