We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
