you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize