As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
