I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
