Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
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I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
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Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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