Apparently you make a good broom.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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