I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
ok first of all what the fuck
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
