Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
