You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
