If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
