if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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