Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
