Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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