you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
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